Pertapa 7 Petala

Dear All My Friend,

Currently the IT department of my office has taken action to block a certain site (most of it is social site) and blocking the messenger also. Due of their action i have to tell you all that my site will only be updated once a week and only on weekend. So i have to apologize for a late reply of your messages and comment. Anyhow i believe that you still can reach me on my phone.

Suddenly I’m asking this question to myself in the Saturday morning. Why is it always me? I’m not somebody. I’m just nobody. What do I have? I had nothing. I’m always dreaming of a very good in my life. I’m dreaming of a big house, great car, a loyal wife and those naughty children. It seems like not easy to get that sort of life. What I have is what I have.

Sometime I don’t know what I’ve been through. What happen in my life for this few years? What happen to those who had knowing me sometime ago? And what happen to those that I’ve been left behind? My curiosity is, are they still alive? If they’re alive, where are they? If they dead, where the tomb? I still can recall a few names. I hope they all it good health and live happily.

But I’ve been thinking of something. If there is no past, there is no present. Am I right Reza? Am I right Mak? Am I right Ayah? I’m so grateful for being in this family. Grateful to have you as my parent. But I will always be me. If not because of you I wouldn’t be here right now. I always pray of your health and happiness. And I will try my best to your best son you ever had.

p/s: I guess the title is not suit.

Sungguh aku x sangka akhirnya dpt juga trace kwn aku sorg ni.nama dia Hanif Bin Hasban.Ha.. mesti ramai yg tertanya sape hanif hasban ni?Aku x pnh sebut nama ni dgn sape2 kecuali org2 yg mmg knl sape dia.Dia ni merupakan kwn baik aku sewaktu belajar di politeknik dulu.Mana ada dia disitu ada aku.Sampaikan org kata aku dgn dia ni dh mcm belangkas kemana saje mesti bersama. Kami dh terputus hubungan sejak sekian lama.Tapi aku amat gembira bila kelmarin dia call aku. Sungguh aku x sangka dia masih simpan no hp aku.Mujur la aku plak msh guna no fon ni.Kalo aku dh tukar no lain lg la ssh.Aku amat bersyukur krn msh berkesempatan berjumpa dgn dia.Mujur la aku x mati lg hahaahaaa...

Aku x paham apsal dorg jd mcm tu.Dorg lupa ke atau mmg x sedar kalo bkn sbb aku dorg x kenal dgn awek2 tu?Tapi kenapa aku plak yg disisihkan?Kalo bkn sbb aku epul xkan kenal sape fiza.Kalo bkn sbb aku jg reza xkan kenal sape nadzliana.Tapi apsal ek,rs mcm aku ni jd org asing plak.Aku bkn la nak cemburu atau sakit hati.Sama ada korg nak bercinta atau apa ke itu terpulang la pada korg.Aku x pnh nk msk cmpr dan x pnh nk amik tau.Apa yg korg cite itu la yg aku terima.Tapi apa yg berlaku skang?Epul dh jarang berckp dgn aku.Dh jarang nak bercerita.X mcm dl.Nak tanya khabar jauh sekali.Ttg bisness pun lgsg dia x tanya.Bkn la aku harapkan korg amik brt ttg dr aku tp aku terasa akan perubahan tu.Setiap hari aku tertanya apa salah aku?Kalo aku ada buat salah pun besar sgt ke?Ntah la,kdg2 mls aku nk fikir sume ni.Makin aku fikir jd makin x tenteram.Mujur mak aku ada.Dpt jg meluahkan sumenya pada dia.Pelik,sebelum ni x pnh aku bergayut dgn mak aku.Mgkn aku semakin menghargai kewujudan keluarga aku.Lega jg lps cerita pd mak.Segala nasihat mak aku ikut.

Itu ttg epul.Reza plak?Yg ni lg la peming kepala.xtau la aku nk ckp cmne.aku ni jd mcm penjaga dia plak.diri sndr pun x terjaga.nasib la bdn.apa pun aku sabar aje la.biar la apa pun terjadi aku akan ttp bersabar.yg pntg aku tau apa yg aku buat.rezeki tu dr Allah...aku tau.

Last night i had a dream.I dream of a girl.Very cute one and very beautiful.Her skin,her face,her smile,her tears,her voice...it feels so real.Is she the one i am looking for?Is she my dream girl?I don't know.I really can feel it when i wipe her tears.It's so alive.The big question now is who is she?I think i remember to call her Faridah.I can't recall her face but i will not forget this feelings.I will find her and she will come to me in reality to be my queen.